Bird & Blend – Dark Choc Chilli Chai
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I have absolutely no opinion on this tea. It’s very weird. On the face of it, it ticks all my Tea Fancier boxes. There’s black tea, cocoa nibs and spices which are all things I usually get excited about. But with this tea – nothing.
It doesn’t taste unpleasant, you understand. It just doesn’t seem to register with me while I’m drinking it. And after I’ve had a cup of it, it’s like I have no memory of having drunk it. There’s no lingering taste of chocolate and tea, just a slight numbness on the lips from the chilli.
Maybe the ingredients cancel one and out another out somehow? It’s an award-winning tea so obviously some people are big fans. I’ve worked my way through the whole packet trying with various strengths and amounts of milk in order to ascertain if I’m doing something wrong with the brewing process, but still, I got nothing. And I’ve been drinking other teas in between cups of Dark Choc Chilli Chai, so it’s not as though I’ve gone off tea altogether.
You know Black Mirror? I feel like I’m in the White Christmas episode where people in the not-too-far-distant future can block people in real life, so that they can no longer properly see or hear them, and they become a sort of blurry pixelated mumbly blob. That’s what I’m getting here.
Actually, I’ve realised exactly what it’s like It’s like the film Stardust, when the witch Lamia puts a spell on Ditchwater Sal, telling her: “You shall not see the star, touch it, smell it or hear it. You will not perceive her even if she stands before you” thus rendering her completely oblivious to the existence of Claire Danes. Clearly something similarly nefarious is going on here. I’m not sure who put such a specific not-able-to-perceive-Dark-Choc-Chilli-Chai curse on me, or why, but clearly it is the only possible explanation.
Today’s featured book is In At The Deep End by Kate Davies. Because it has chillies on the front. And not because I have some sort of mental block on it.
