BrutaliTeas – Krampistachio
Krampusnacht – the night when Krampus, the mythical Christmas personification of punishment stalks the earth – takes place on the 5th of December. We’re celebrating it a week early here at Tea Fancier Towers and we’re doing it in style with BrutaliTeas’ Krampistachio tea, a surprisingly cheerful blend of pistachios, cranberries and almond.
Krampus is a longstanding part of Alpine Europe’s Christmas folklore, being a sort of anti-Santa who punishes the naughty children while St Nicholas takes care of the good ones. Krampus is also a 2015 comedy horror film and the name of not one but two death metal bands, one Hungarian, one Italian. Knowing BrutaliTeas’ love of both horror movies and heavy metal music, this tea could be named after one or all of them.
The tea itself is absolutely gorgeous. Not sure how appropriate the flavours are, given that a tea named after Krampus ought really to taste of birch rods and lumps of coal. But that would be disgusting and nobody deserves that. Even naughty people.
Instead, starting presumably with pistachio (because BrutaliTeas love a good pun), we have a bittersweet combination of Ceylon black tea, Pu-Erh, nuts, cranberries, rose petals and raspberry leaves. It looks absolutely beautiful, like dark, leafy potpourri. It’s better than potpourri though because you can pour hot water on it and drink the stuff.
Being a black tea, it pairs well with milk. It tastes a lot like marzipan which is just fine by me. I love marzipan. It’s always a risk that I’ll run out while decorating the Christmas cake, due to the necessary amount of marzipan-tasting required in the process. Tea that tastes like the best bits of a Christmas cake is exactly what I need right now.
If you only try one Krampus-themed tea this Christmas… well, it’s going to be this one, let’s face it. BrutaliTeas have rather cornered the market here.
